A Newsletter
I want to blog more I want to write more I want to share more I want to I want I want
To end 2025, I did a New Years ritual with my sister. We wrote down 13 things we wanted for ourselves in the upcoming year on 13 tiny slips of paper and folded them up. Each day until January 2 (I dont know why the last day was january 2nd instead of 1st) we would burn a slip of paper. We didn’t look at what was written on it, we just selected one at random and let it go. I kept forgetting to do this and ended up having to select quite a few at one go a couple days into this ritual, but eventually we got to the last day. On January 2nd, I opened up the only paper remaining. It said: Write more.
Me saying I want to write more is mostly a creative, fiction and poetry writing pursuit. I used to write poetry all the time, scribbled when I couldn’t sleep and when it came to me. I want to intentionally write now, because without that intentionality I let myself forget to for too long.
Part of writing more also means sharing more. It would be nice to do a monthly newsletter to record my month, the things that have been on my mind and my gratitudes to share what I have been up to. This is my first attempt at that. The template may change as we go!
This January I have been all over. I started out in Bangladesh, before returning to London, visiting Scotland and then going back to uni. I started the year not looking at a screen for about 3 days, which really cleared my brain, before being launched back into holy-shit-I-have-so-much-coursework-to-do mode. I started writing this as a way to procrastinate said coursework. (It is submitted now woohoo!!) Despite the intensity of the past 2 weeks, I have had lovely moments of respite, reunions, and creativity. My current mood is searching for lightness, ease of movement, and the sun sun sun. I am looking forward to the second week of Feb, when all my deadlines will be done, so that I can reorganise my priorities accordingly. The winter months are nearly over!
Gratitude
A collection of things I have been grateful for this month, according to my journal!
I have been grateful for…
Reuniting with friends
Fun conversations at the pub
My budding bookclub + the people interested in participating
The organising community around me, our active accountability processes and just the fact that they are lovely, intelligent sweethearts
My body’s strength and fluidity thanks to my dedication to yoga for the past couple of years. Also the space it gives my mind to just focus on breathing and movement for at least one hour a week
Losing a job! and gaining another!
Ideas! Talking about creative possibilities, future plans, potential and just feeling starry eyed
How in tune I have been with my body this month
The frolicking muntjac deer I saw while shovelling dirt into a bucket to take home (why would I ever buy soil)
On Da Brain
memory; creative writing and writing processes; the role of the artist and what being an artist even means; food sovereignty; fermenting; building up my relationship with plants and greening my thumb; mongolian jazz fusion and malian folk music; polyamory and alternative relationships; all the WIPS i have and ideas to discuss; anxiety about language learning and not making the time; if I can actually go analogue and how to compromise on my lofty goals versus a feasible lifestyle; how the hell I’m going to listen to music (pls give MP3 download recs / streaming apps / radio recs); I need to clear out my photo album; ghostings, friendship losses and changes; tea; what to crochet/embroider/sew next; how to strengthen my own community ties and not overstep but set up connections and follow through with actions; being brave and saying yes more!
Works in progress
Potentially a bookclub will be born soon! I know what the nature of the books we will read are, as I want to read more books on political movements and get a deeper and broader knowledge of the ongoing genocides and revolutions across the world right now/in recent history. I just need to think of the logistics of how/when we will all meet!
My zine - it is still being made I promise, its just I have had a lot on my plate and it keeps being pushed aside. I just need a day to finalise formatting (the most intimidating part hence procrastination) and then send it off to as many people begging them to print it as possible!
I am very paranoid about posting my face online
I am interested in building a kind of DBT process for myself this year. I have some things in my journal, who knows. My goal is to just build nervous system resilience and have rituals to fall back on.
Building on that - my relationship with myself! I have been spending more intentional time with myself and trying not to force myself to do things when I literally don’t have the energy to. It sounds silly, but it hit me properly that I really am the only person I am guaranteed to have a relationship with in this life, and I should build a healthy one at that.
Employment, internships yadda yadda I will be so interned in the summer, I can’t wait to learn and practice and be a paid intern. yup.
trigger warning uni work … I am almost nearing the end of one of my coursework papers, and I am building up and fleshing out my diss ideas. I am excited and passionate about these things but simultaneously they only matter as much as getting that degree and graduating and being freed matters. (i had a conversation w someone very into academia recently and while I am comfortable w academics, i do not want to be an academic… theres a level of ‘why do u gaf so much about these arbitrary measurements of intellect and plausibility so much’ that i cant ignore in my mind when I talk to ppl who care a LOT about academic practice)
I need a kitchen scale so I can learn to ferment. If you know someone with a battery powered kitchen scale PLEASE let me know immediately. No one wants to give away their kitchen scales on marketplace anymore! In my time of need!
A mood, a summary, a carnal feeling - January has been
Long deep breaths, cycling in the rain, drinking coffee again, sharing food, excited conversation, sitting with feelings, showing up as my self and knowing how to make space for me where I am.